iLike The Dork
by Stars of Silver Ghosts
Summary: Written to be like a real episode, you can see it in your head. Plot: Sam thinks she's beginning to like freddie, but she dosn't know if he'll feel the same. Little does she know, he likes her too. Rated T cause i'm paranoid. XP
1. intro and song

** Hey everyone! **** I promised you guys a seddie story, so here it is! It will be like an iCarly episode, maybe longer. I know a lot of people like to get on with the story, so, Ta Da! Here you go! The title of this is iLike The Dork. Catchy, right? Oh yeah, almost forgot; I so totally wish I owned iCarly, but boo-hoo, I don't, or this would be an hour long (or longer) movie. Ah well… Onto the awesome!**

Chapter 1: intro and song

Carly and Sam jumped in to action as soon as Freddie's countdown ended. The tech producer behind the camera spoke as the girls fixed the other's hair self-conciously, eager for their webcast to begin.

"In five, four, three, two," breathed Freddie,

"That be Carly," said a spunky blonde, motioning to her close friend.

"And that be Sam," the perky brunette said while pointing.

"And this is iCarly!" the girls screamed as one, and Sam pressed a button on a blue remote that caused cheers to erupt. Freddie smiled and chuckled to himself as his friends began.

"Today, we're going to start off the show with the all time classic of Messin' with Lewbert!" More cheers from the remote as, on screen, big bubble letters displayed the title.

"We've got something really special planned for our least favorite doorman," began Carly.

"He's gonna be so surprised!" Cut in Sam, smiling happily.

"We are going to scare him to death in the most scary of ways! Care to explain, Sam?" Carly said, bouncing on her toes.

"Why sure, Carls," Said Sam. She began to explain what they would do. She ran up to the camera, and Freddie shifted it so the viewing audience could see better. "Okay, so first, the lights in the lobby will go off, when Freddork does his stupid techy stuff that no one cares about." Freddie scowled at who he liked to call a blonde-headed demon, but Sam paid him no attention. "Then," She continued, "Carly will call the front desk, and when he picks up, all he will hear will be heavy breathing." Slowly, the lights dim in the iCarly studio, and scary horror film music plays. Sam begins telling the plan in spooky story mode, her face twisting into a wicked grin.

Then, smoke will begin to fall from the stairs of Bushwell plaza, and the heavy sound of breathing will echo off the walls of the room. The doorman, frightened, will run to the doors, which are covered with black paper so he cannot see through. He will try to open them, only to find them locked. He runs to cower behind his desk, panting heavily, And then, just when he thinks he is about to feint, a trap door opens on the ceiling, causing over a hundred pickled tomatoes to fall on his head!" She laughed evilly, the lights went back on and the scary music stopped. Sam stepped back, letting Carly into the shot. Freddie seemed relieved that the story with the weird ending was over.

"The pickled tomatoes were donated to us by an iCarly fan called Sharon. Thanks Sharon, we wouldn't be able to do this without you and your pickled tomatoes." Said Carly. "Also, a shout out to Socko, my brother's friend, for letting us use his sound projecters and smoke machine after his friend's band had their concert. Freddie set this all up. Also, we paid 2 kids to set up the black paper outside the door while Lewbert's on the phone, so thanks to you guys, too." She finished.

"Quit with all the thank you's, and let's get this show on the road! Fredweiner! Do that techy stuff!" Shouted Sam.

"Ungratefull pig," muttered Freddie under his breath.

"What was that?" asked Sam.

"Nothing," Freddie said quickly.

"That's what momma thought. Now please us all and put Lewbert on the screen!" Freddie sighed, and with a touch of a button, the monitor swung out. With a few more, the camera only focused on that. On the screen, Lewbert was clipping his toenails with his dirty sockless feet propped up on the front desk.

"Eww, gross!" Exclaimed Carly.

"Just look at that messed up creature," muttered Sam.

"Okay, Freddie, cue the lights!" said Carly, anxious to start.

"Got it," he replied, typing things into the computer. In the lobby, the lights began to flicker in a random beat. Lewbert dropped the nail clippers on the tile floor and quickly put on his shoes. "Hey!" He hollered, setting his feet down, gripping the desk, "What's going on in here! Quit it, stupid lights! This place is cheap!" He screamed, banging the desk in frusturation as the lights went comepletely dark. There was just enough light to see every thing going on.

"Now, we call him," said Sam. The camera focused on the girls again. Sam picked up a cellphone and diled a number into it and handed it to Carly, who pressed the call button and held it to her ear. The camera went back to the live feed in the lobby as the phone rang there. Lewbert leaned foreword and grabbed it roughly, answering by saying lazily, "What do you want!"

The camera went back to the girls, where Carly was breathing heavily into the end part of the phone, and Sam was watching with interest. Camera going back to the lobby, Lewbert screeched, "What? What do you want? Who are you!" More heavy breathing. Outside, while Lewbert's distracted, you see two teens putting black poster paper over the doors. "Get off the phone! Aaaghh!" A mangled cry from everyone's least favorite doorman as he slams the phone on it's receiver. He looks around him anxiously.

"Aww, he's getting scared! Think we should stop?" Carly mockingly asks Sam.

"Let's give him more," Sam responds, smirking in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable to be in the same room with her.

"It's like you can read my mind," says Carly. "Freddie, will you put on the smoke and sound effects?"

"Why would I not?" Freddie says as he presses some buttons. Back on the monitor, you see a look of horror cross Lewbert's ugly face as smoke falls down the stairs and heavy breathing echoes off the walls. As predicted, you see him jump out of his seat and he runs for the door. He slams into it, and begins to shake it, before realizing that it's locked. Whimpering, he runs behind his desk to open the door to storage to get the keys, before he notices that it's also locked. Defeated, he quickly sits down behind the front desk to cower in fear. He looks at the ceiling, shouting, "What do you want from me!" before letting out another mangled screech.

"Cue the pickled tomatoes!" Shouts Carly, and Freddie pushes a button, suddenly causing a ton of pickled tomatoes to rain down on the unsuspecting doorman. He just had time to look up in shock and scream before they pelted him down. After a second, you see Lewbert's head pop up from under the pile of gross stuff.

"What the-" Lewbert was about to cuss, but he sniffed the pile he was in, put on a confused face, and ended his sentence with the word, "pickles?"

The girls in the studio laughed, and Freddie put the lights back on and cut the smoke machine and sound effects. Lewbert finally noticed that his keys were on the desk and shrieked in unhappiness. Freddie turned the camera back on the girls, who were still laughing.

"Okay," Carly said, shaking off the laughter, still just barely chuckling, "that was pretty great."

"You kidding? That's the best we've ever done!" Said Sam happily; she was still laughing her guts out, finally slowing.

Freddie turned the camera onto himself. "I thought of the trapped door on the ceiling," he said, doing a funny half smile. Sam's laughter ceased immediately.

"No one cares, dork, now turn the camera back onto the stars, will ya?" It was more of an order than a question. Freddie stopped smiling, but focused the camera on the girls.

"You know, you could be a bit nicer to me," Said Freddie.

"I could, but I won't," replied Sam, crossing her arms. Carly eyed her two friends unhappily, knowing that this was heading downhill faster than you can say 'fried clowns'.

"Would you seriously just cut back because-" Sam interrupted here, although Freddie continued talking, "Well I'm not laying off because it's way to much fun to-" from there, you couldn't understand anything else. Carly butted in, trying to say something to calm them down, but they all ended up yelling. Suddenly, one yell that didn't come from any of them caused them to stop.

"Guys. GUYS!" the voice belonged to Spencer. They all stopped talking at once and looked around them, searching for him.

"Um, where is Spencer?" Said Sam, unsure.

"I could swear I just heard him calling us-" began Freddie before he was cut off by Spencer. "Up here!" The trio slowly turned their heads to the ceiling, where his voice came from. From the point of view of the camera, you saw the two girls (Freddie's _behind_ the camera,) slowly lower their heads, as Spencer was lowered from the ceiling, suspended by a thick rope, wearing a fish costume and, in each hand, holding a clear bag of water with a goldfish in each one.

"I'm a tuna fish!" He exclaimed happily, not noticing their shocked expressions. You see the girls face the camera. Spencer follows their lead, still holding a grin that stretched from one ear to the other. "Well, that's not weird at all," Carly says quietly.

**Theme Song**

_I know, you see, somehow the world will change for me_

_And be so wonderful…*dum, dum, dum*_

_Live life, breathe air, I know somehow were gonna get there_

_And feel so wonderful…_

_It's all for real, _

_I'm telling you just how I feel_

_So, wake up the members of my nation,_

_It's your time to be,_

_There's no chance unless you take one,_

_Every time just see the brighter side of every situation,_

_Some things are meant to be, so_

_Gimme your best and leave the rest to me,_

_Leave it all to me,_

_Leave it all to me,_

_Just leave it all to me!_

**Okay, that's all for now, but I'll update as soon as I can. I try my best to make every thing seem believable, and in character. Also, you'll find out about what Spencer was doing suspended from the ceiling in a tuna fish costume with goldfish soon, don't worry. He's gonna be the sub plot, and there isn't any seddie yet, but I promise, there will be plenty. Review please! Thanks for reading! **


	2. at the lockers

** Hey guys! I'm just so happy tonight, because I only started this story last night and many more people than usual commented nicely. I love all of you, so I posted this tonight! The seddie awesomeness may not enter this chapter, but I come up with it as I go along, so I can't tell you exactly where it'll come in. But I'm working on it, don't worry. So, disclaimer: no, I don't own iCarly, because if I did, seddie love would have happened by now. Anyways, I dislike that they put Spam in iGet Pranky, and the only thing that kept me from frowning was Freddie's face. Oh well, onto the story.**

Chapter 2: school

Carly was turning the combination on her lock as Sam walked by to the locker close to hers.

"Hey, Carls," she offered as a greeting.

"Oh, hey Sam." Said Carly. Sam swung her backpack onto one shoulder and twisted the combination. When Sam opened her locker, smoke billowed out, and, not surprised, she waved her hands at it, trying to fan it away. Carly just stared.

"Oh my gosh, what did you do to your locker?" Asked Carly with a shocked face.

"Aww, chill, Carls, it's nothing. I just paid some dude to turn it into a stove," Sam said with an even face. As soon as the smoke cleared, Sam threw her red-and-black checkered backpack on the floor, unzipped it quickly, pulled out a giant steak fork, and carefully navigated it into the burning locker. A second later, she brought it out with a smallish steak impaled on the end. "See?" she said, smiling.

"Sam, why must you always transform your locker into a crock pot and cook whole dinners there?" Carly asked her friend, sighing.

"Momma loves her meat," she said, before ripping a large piece off the well-done steak with her teeth ferociously. Carly could only stare at the wild animal that was her friend.

"Wait," asked Carly, "where do you keep your books?"

"In your locker, duh," responded Sam, as if it were the obvious answer.

"In my locker? But how can you fit-eeek!" Carly had opened her locker, and screeched as tons of textbooks toppled over her. She threw her hands over her face, then looked at the floor, where a mess had accumulated. "Sam!" She sighed sadly, "what am I ever going to do with you?"

Sam just grinned. "Feed me and keep me happy, and momma won't bother ya," She said.

"But you always manage to bother me anyways." Carly knelt down and started shoving books into her locker.

Just then, Freddie walked up."Hello Carly and Demon," He greeted cheerfully.

"Hi Freddie," said Carly, picking up the last notebook and fitting it into her locker.

"Who ordered a dork?" growled Sam between bites. Carly was looking at her steak again, and asked,

"Got any more steak?"

"Yeah why?" said Sam. "Didn't eat breakfast?"

"No, Spencer woke me late, he was working on his latest sculpture. He's been really busy lately." Carly sighed.

"Oh, yeah," said Freddie, "what _is _he working on? Did he tell you why he was in a fish costume with goldfish yesterday?" Sam looked at Carly, waiting.

"He's working on making a giant fish tank with one hundred goldfish, and it's for his new girlfriend, Michelle, who enjoys goldfish. She's also a costume designer. So, he was buying two new goldfish to start the tank with, but forgot to pay for them. The cops chased him to our apartment, where he ran into the iCarly studio and decided to hide in Michelle's newest design, a tuna fish. Although I have no idea why hr was hanging from the ceiling. He's also trying to get tickets to the Cuddlefish concert in Seattle this week, but their sold out. He wants to take Michelle there for their next date. He's been busy."

"But doesn't Spencer kill all of his pet fish, such as Swimmy, Brock, etcetera?" Questioned Sam, before taking another bite.

"Well, yeah," responded Carly, "But he's trying his best. Hey why don't we meet at my apartment after school to think up more iCarly bits? We need to concentrate on what item were going to use next on 'Hey, hey, hey, what am I sitting on?"

"Sure," mumbled Sam through a mouthful of meat.

"I'm cool with that," said Freddie.

Carly was glad. Now she spoke, "Okay, great. Right after school. We can get smoothies afterwards. Now, Sam, seriously, got any more meat?" Freddie chuckles as Sam quickly reached into her backpack and took out two packages wrapped in plastic.

"Barbequed ribs or fried chicken?" Asked Sam as she held them up to Carly's face.

"Well, I think I want-" Carly was cut off by the loud ringing of the bell. She sighed. "Guess I'll eat later," she said. "Remember, meet at the studio right after school, okay?"

"Kay," said Sam.

"Got it," said Freddie. Just then, Gibby ran through the hall shirtless, screaming "Gibbyyyy!" And then yelling "Whoa-oooff!" As he slipped on a banana peel and fell backwards with a thump.

"Where did the banana peel come from?" He moaned.

The kids shrugged, and the teen web sensations headed off to another boring day at Ridgeway High.

**Okay, that's it for now. I guess this was more of just something to take up space, but blame my hand from doing too much homework. It's tired. I'll post the next soon. Reviews are welcomed with open arms. Thanks for reading!**


	3. in the studio

** Well, you guys got lucky. More iCarly for you. You guys just are just so nice, I can't resist! Okay, disclaimer, blah blah blah, I don't own iCarly, but you already know that don't you? So on with the show!**

Chapter 3: Spencer's many problems

Carly, Sam and Freddie had walked home from school together, and were walking down the hall to Carly's apartment. They were talking about what to do for a new segment, and of course, Sam had some interesting ideas.

"Why don't we introduce Freduccini to my cat, live online?" She said, smiling. Freddie, who didn't know much about Sams's cat, didn't seem to mind, until Carly interrupted.

"You mean the rabid cat who foams from his mouth?" Carly asked Sam suspiciously. Freddie wore a shocked expression, turning to Sam to face her and her evil ideas.

"Frothy's a good cat!" Sam said loudly.

They reached the door, and Carly took out her keys and fumbled with the lock for a second before she swung the door open. They walked inside, still talking. Carly was trying to explain why setting Frothy on Freddie is a bad idea, and a rude thing to do.

"Sam, you can't just go around setting your rabid cat to hurt people. You do realize that if Frothy bites someone, they'll also get infected? Did you know that-" She trailed off to stare at the thing in the room, and the teens next to her stared too.

In the middle of the spot where the couch used to be, there was this giant fish tank filled with over 200 galleons of water, up to the brim. Inside were about 20 goldfish of different colors and shapes and sizes, colorful pebbles, plants and décor, and Spencer. Yep, Spencer was wearing a diving suit, swimming in the water with fish. They all stared.

Spencer surfaced. "Hey kiddo's!" He said, smiling at their faces, which, as you are guessing, were shocked.

"Umm, Spencer?" Asked Carly quietly, "where's our couch?"

"Oh, it's in the tank," said Spencer, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"What do you mean, 'in the tank?' You can't put our couch in the fishtank, right? I mean-" She looked at the tank, finally noticing everything he had put inside. There was their couch, in the center, and in front of it was the coffee table, complete with a cup. Next to it was the small table, and on it was a lamp without a lightbulb. All over the tank were bits of furniture, from their house. It sort of looked like an underwater living room.

"Spencer, why'd you put all of our furniture in the tank?" She exclaimed loudly, throwing her hands out in exasperation. Sam and Freddie just stared onto the scene revolving in front of them. Carly walked up to Spencer, in the fish tank, and planted her hands on her hips.

"Well, it's supposed to be a piece of art!" Said Spencer, throwing his hands into the air.

"Umm, Spencer?" says Sam, "Why didn't you just use props?"

Spencer, face flickering with different thoughts, finally responds, "I didn't think about that,"

Carly facepalms. "Well, now we don't have a couch," she says quietly. Sam's unhappy. "What am I supposed to sit on when I watch your tv?" she exclaims.

"The floor, now let's go work in the studio, guys. We still need to think up new bits for iCarly." Says Freddie. The trio rushes to the stairs. As they begin to climb, Carly turns around to face Sam.

"Sam, none of your ideas should include anything that will hurt and/or kill our technical producer." Stated Carly, face to face with an unhappy blonde.

"But they _are _good ideas!" Wailed Sam.

"Shut it, Puckett," Says Freddie bravely as they run up the stairs.

"Put a pie in your pothole, Benson." Snapped Sam. As they disappeared up the stairs, Spencer swam to the edge of the fish tank, where there was a ladder. He tried to haul himself up, only to slip back in and swallow a mouthful of fish water. "Eeew, ugh!" He exclaimed. He tried again.

"Come on come on come on come on come on come- uff! Come on, dude, really?" He had fallen in again. He reached out, trying to pull the ladder closer, also trying to get a grip on it so he could pull himself out.

"Come here, , you, I won't hurt ya," He said in a soft, high pitched voice as he reached out a wet hand. "Spencer won't hurt ya, little ladder dude, so come to Spencer. Come to Spence-mmmpft! Ufgh!" He had grabbed the ladder, alright. And it had fallen to the ground, he had slipped, and had taken another mouthful of fish water. He surfaced quickly, spitting water and fury.

"Stupid ladder!" he shouted unhappily. Then, he swam to the side again and realized that it had fallen over. "wait," Spencer contemplated, " if the ladder's on the floor, and I'm still in here, how am I ever gonna get-uh oh." He makes a funny face as he realizes his situation. "Well that's not good," He said quickly before splashing his way to the other side and gripping the edge. "Wait!" He called, "I can't be here! I'm not a strong swimmer! I'll get pruney fingers! I want a smoothie! Modern Family's on tv tonight! I need to get concert tickets! Fish water tastes bad! Why did I get such a big tank?" He moaned unhappily, "and I _really_ need to use the bathroom!"

For a second, he stays there. Then, he makes a funny expression on his face. He kept it for a few seconds, then lets out a pleased sigh. "Well, _now_ I don't need to use the bathroom." A golden orange goldfish floats to the surface, unmoving. Spencer turns his head around and sees the unfortunate fish.

"Oops," Whispered Spencer, "Sorry, Swimmy the Twenty-Third." He bites his lip in displeasure and stares into space.

Meanwhile, in the iCarly studio, 3 teens were thinking up new bits for their web show. The brunette sat in the blue beanbag, the blonde in the red, and the boy was working on something on a fancy laptop.

"What if," says Freddie, "We come up with a segment in which Gibby bathes the elderly?"

"No one wants to hear your dumb ideas, Dorkwad," spits Sam with venom, as usual. Freddie rolls his eyes.

"Hey!" Shouts Carly.

"Heyo!" Says Sam, looking at her.

"Hola!" Says Freddie, smiling at Carly. This time Sam rolls her eyes.

"I mean, 'Hey' as in, 'Hey, I've got an idea.' That Hey!" Stated Carly.

"Well then tell us, Carlotta!" Calls out Sam. Carly gives her a good long look, then smiles in the ugly way.

"Why of course I will, _Samantha._" She says in a sickly sweet voice.

"Don't call me that!" Yells Sam.

"Well I'm Carly, not Carlotta!" Snapped Carly without wasting a breath. Sam just sat down in her seat and ate a raspberry from a blue bowl in her hand. Carly spoke.

"My idea was that we could make a segment where we pull practical jokes on random people!"

"Which random people?" Asked Freddie curiously. Sam looked up at Carly.

"Well, just, anyone! We could prank people in my apartment, on the block, hoboes, anyone!" She stood up, smiling, but then frowned. "Wait, but whoever we prank will know us,"

"No problemo," Said Sam, also standing up. "My cousin Skull just got out of jail after being there a while, and he could help us!"

"Sam, we are not including anything illegal." Sam stomps her foot at Freddie's denial. "Carly," Sam questioned, "What do you think?"

"Sam, I agree," She said. Sam sighed in defeat.

"Um, Sam?" Asked Freddie, "Can I ask how long your cousin was in Jail, and why his name's Skull?"

"Oh, he was supposed to have a fifty year sentence but we proved him 'innocent.' Note the air quotations. Also, his name is Skull because it used to be Ted but he got a skull tattooed to his chest. Oh, and none of your business, Dork."

Freddie sighed. "Well, maybe my new girlfriend, Tracy can help us," he said. For a mere second, barely noticeable, Sam looked displeased, but then smiled.

"So, you got a girlfriend? She must be mentally diseased like the rest of them. Let me just call the house of crazies to tell them she's escaped…" Sam pulled out her phone, but Carly grabbed it out of her hand.

"Sam, Tracy's not mentally diseased, she just likes Freddie. I met her yesterday at Groovy Smoothies, she's new to our school and very nice. I think that she and Freddie would make a cute couple!" She said, waving Sam's cell phone in the air as she said, 'mentally diseased.'

The iCarly cast heard the doorbell ring. "I have to go, guys," says Freddie. He begins to walk to the door.

"Why are you leaving?" Asked Carly. "Well that's Tracy. Were going on a date now, so I told her I'd be here. See you guys," he said, walking out the door.

"Bye Freddie!" called Carly.

"See ya Nub!" Sam yelled. Then Carly turned to Sam.

"Should we think of more ideas?" asked Carly. Sam was looking at her converse-clad feet. "No," Sam sighed, "We need to talk.

"About what?" questioned Carly. Sam just continued to stare at her feet. "Sam, are you okay?" Carly asks her.

"Take a seat, Carls," Carly sits down in the blue beanbag. Sam takes the red one. "This is going to be a long story," Sam said.

**Haha! Cliffie! I love leaving you guys hanging, and I know you hate me for it, but I'll update soon. What do you think Sam wants to tell Carly? Can you guess? It **_**is **_**a seddie story. Leave what you know in the comments. So, yeah, comment and review! I hope you enjoyed!**


	4. 20 questions

**Sorry I havn't updated for a bit. Oh my gosh, I saw iDo, but it didn't interest me as much as the teaser for iStart a Fanwar did! Seddie vs. Creddie! I heard that there will be a twist ending, so boo-hoo, probably neither Carly or Sam will get Freddie. But I shrieked so much and was bouncing in my seat, and I made my brother rewind it so I could watch it again over and over and over. Let me act like a dumb teenage girl raving for one sec…**

**OH MY GOD! SEDDIE VS. CREDDIE! I WANT SEDDIE SOOOOOOO BAD! SCREAM! SHRIEK! …. Thanks.**

**Anyways, disclaimer, I don't own it, and you know the drill, so, here! Enjoy! **

"Sam, what do you want to talk about?" Asks Carly.

"Well, I sorta kinda probably maybe possibly think that I might like this guy-" Begins Sam before she is cut off by a girly shriek of joy. Carly had on a happy face, leaning into Sam's words. Her two fists are balled up underneath her chin, and she's grinning like crazy.

"Shush," says Sam.

"Sorry," whispered Carly. She frowns for a second for being shushed, but smiles again, pearly whites showing.

"The thing is, I can't tell him that I like him, 'cause he likes someone else," Sam says to her friend. Carly's smile vanishes. "Oh, I'm sorry," Carly says sincerely.

"So now I don't really know what to do," continues Sam, "Because if I see him just another minute drooling over the other girl, I'm gonna go nuts, Carls. Nuts, I tell you."

"Well, who is he? What's his name?" Carly spoke. Sam had clearly thought this answer out; in fact, she was waiting for it.

"See, I don't want to tell you his name, so let's play twenty questions. Guess right, you can play matchmaker."

"Yay!" Shrieked Carly. She had her fists bundled up again. She shot out of the beanbag like a rocket, and Sam followed. She began to pace.

"_But,_ if you guess wrong, I work alone. Got it?" Sam asks, turning to a very serious looking Carly, who is nodding her head so hard it looks like it will fall off her shoulders and roll on the ground. "Good," states Sam, "Start guessing then." Carly didn't hesitate.

"Is he tall?" She asks.

"Not really."

"Is he smart?"

"Very."

"Can he play sports?"

"No."

"Does he have dark eyes?"

"Yes."

"Does he go to our school?"

"Yes."

"Does he often go to Chili My Bowl?"

"Ummm.. I'm not sure, does that question even make sense?"

"Does he have blonde hair?"

"No."

"Black hair?"

"No."

"Red?"

"No, no, no,"

"Brown hair?"

"Finally!"

"Does he go to afterschool activities?"

"Yes."

"Do I know him?"

"Very well."

" Does he watch iCarly?"

"You could say that, yea,"

"Does he buy T-Bo's food on a stick?"

"I don't know anyone who does!"

"Do you make fun of him?"

"Well duh, no chizz!"

"Does he ever do illegal things?"

"Never,"

"Does he enjoy Canadian bacon?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Can he speak another language?"

"Only a few words,"

"Does he like smoothies?"

"Strawberry Splatz, my friend." Says Sam. Each question had been asked very quickly, and Sam had answered every one of them in under a second. Now she spoke again. " Carly Shay, you are down to your final question," She said in an announcer's voice, "and now you must guess once more before you are either congratulated or put to shame. Chose wisely, for after this, you will guess the mystery man."

Sam watches Carly closely, who only smirks. "Oh, gee, this is sooo hard," she says, sighing over dramatically, "but could your 'super secret crush' possibly be the dorky technical producer with an over protective mom on iCarly?"

"N-" Sam begins, before realizing that Carly knew. "Maybe," She said, looking at her converse-clad feet. Carly squealed,

"Yay! I knew it! You two are just perfect together! I've got to call him!" She pulls out a pink phone with a clear glittery case and begins to dial, only to have it yanked out of her hands by a very irritated blonde.

"No calling him!" She snapped, " you can help me get him discretely, not by screaming I love him over your girly cell!" She waves the pink glitter cell in the air, Carly shamefully lowering her head. "You know what, maybe you shouldn't help," Says Sam. Carly looks at Sam pleadingly then.

"No," Says a very sure Sam. Carly sticks out her lower lip, widening her eyes so she looked like a puppy.

"Fine," sighs Sam. "but you can't tell him directly,"

"Yay!" shouts Carly. Sam drops down on the red beanbag, looking very unhappy, and very un-Sam-like. She sighs again.

"Well," Suggested Carly, "Why don't we go to Groovie Smoothies? We can talk it all over, while drinking yummy smoothies!"

"Fine, but you buy me my smoothie," Says Sam.

"When don't I?" Says Carly. The girls run to the door of the studio, fling it open and run downstairs.

Downstairs, four feet thunder down the stairs. Spencer is in his giant fishtank, resting his head on the edge.

"Spencer, were going to Groovie Smoothies. Wanna smoothie?" Asks Carly, running past the unusual sight. Sam follows her. Carly barely sees Spencer as she opens the door.

"Oh, um yea," says Spencer, swimming to the front rim of the tank, gripping it with pruney fingers, "Blueberry Blitz! But wait I-"

"Okay, bye!" Yells Carly as she races out the door, cutting her older brother off.

"See ya!" Calls Sam as she follows. Spencer sighs in disappointment. Suddenly, Carly's head peeks around the corner, small hands holding the doorframe.

"Spencer, you should really get out or you'll look all wrinkly and pruney," She says before running off again.

"Wait!" Shouts Spencer to the empty door into the hallway, "I'm trying to tell you that Oh forget it!" He yells with a wave of his hand. He lets go of the rim. He slowly allows his head to submerge. As his nose go under, he stops. He stares. And then he blows bubbles. Gargling noises. How charming, Spencer. Really.

**Read and review! Thanks so much for reading! Bye!**


	5. mustard balls

** This is gonna be a short chapter, kay? Sorry to keep you guys waiting, I spent one whole night awake watching Wolf's Rain, which by the way is the best anime ever, but I cry a lot watching sad things, (don't tell! ;P) and I caught a bad cold, then it turned into other sicknesses and now I'm way too sick to go to school. So I got bored, and I decided that writing for you guys would cheer me up! Also, when Sam says 'yokay' I actually say that! I don't know why… I own nothing, here's the story.**

** Chapter 5: Mustard Balls**

Carly and Sam walked into Groovy Smoothies at a quick pace, focused only on the front counter. When they reach it, they realize no one is there to take their order. Carly and Sam give each other confused glances. Carly leans over the counter, but sees no one and draws back. Sam takes a quick look and also turns back.

"Umm, hello?" Calls Carly softly over the marble counter, "excuse me? Is anyone-"

"T-BO!" Sam shouts, cutting off the petite Carly and causing her to jump. It also caused a large clanging and crashing noise from the behind the 'employees only' door, and a shout. T-Bo quickly exited the door and came to the counter with an annoyed, unhappy expression and yellow globs all over him, a goo-covered empty stick in each hand.

"Aww, why'd ya have to yell?" He said, "Ya'll got me covered in mustard!"

"How did you get mustard all over?" Asked Carly curiously.

"Oh, see I was making mustard balls on a stick an-" Starts T-Bo, but Sam cuts him off.

"T-Bo what in cheese and bacon are mustard balls?" Shouts Sam. T-Bo looks taken aback, but quickly gathers himself to explain.

"Just what it says they are. Mustard balls-on a stick! I just squirt this here mustard on a tray and then I dry it out by-"

"We don't need to know," interrupts Carly with a disgusted expression. T-Bo continues talking as if she wasn't there.

"Then I stick it on this here stick, and I walk around a sellin' it! Hey," he asks, leaning over the counter into their faces, "ya'all wanna buy one?" The girls quickly draw back from the weirdness.

"No way!" Says Sam.

"I'm good," Says Carly. T-Bo looks unhappy and takes a step back, but then smiles. "So ya'all want some smoothies, then." He said.

"Yep, smoothies," Said Carly. "Hey Sam, order something good for me, kay? I'm gonna get us a table before they run out,"

"Yokay," says Sam, and Carly walks away. As she reaches one of the few empty tables, a shocked expression crosses her face as she sees Freddie and his new girlfriend, Tracy sitting nearby. She quickly looked around her, worried that Sam might have seen, but she was still at the counter. Carly ran over to their table. Freddie and Tracy looked up and smiled.

Freddie started up a conversation. "Hi Carly, what are you do-"

"What are you doing here!" Hissed Carly, gripping the table fiercely. Freddie is shocked at her force.

"Uh, I-I'm on my date with Tracy. Are- you okay? 'Cause you look-"

Carly interrupts again, whisper-yelling at the pair so Sam doesn't overhear,"Go! Shoo! Have your date somewhere else! Like with the neighborhood hoboes! Or at the public swimming pool!"

"Uh. I-I don't know how to respond to that," Says Freddie, rather confused. Tracy just watched, also confused. Carly sighed, and tried to explain without giving away anything.

"Sam and I came here, Sam's in a bad mood, and she will kill you guys if she sees you two here! Now leave!" She ushers them out of their seats and to the door, but Freddie stops with a determined face in the partially open door.

"No, were not leaving," he said to Carly. Her face twisted with horrification.

"Your what?" She states dumbly, afraid for their safety around the emotional blonde.

"I'm not about to let Sam ruin our date," He says fiercely. "She can threaten to beat me with my own anti-bacterial underpants, but I will not be forced to-" His fierce expression morphs into one of morbid fear as his gaze falls on the person who had just approached behind Carly. She swiveled around and is shocked to see Sam standing there. Her face melts into a cheap fake smile.

"Oh, hey Sam.." Carly says, her voice trailing off and cracking at the tension.

Carly looks at her shoes and rocks back on the heels of her sneakers uncomfortably. Sam is standing there with a blank expression. Her eyes travel over Carly, blushing under her gaze, then over Tracy, who looks away in fear, and then stops on Freddie, who is biting his lip.

Her ice blue eyes harden and her knuckles turn white as they grip a smoothie in each hand. The one in her right hand couldn't handle the pressure, causing the side to crack and a red liquid to spill on the floor, looking a little too much like blood.

"L-Lets go," Says Freddie to Tracy, and the two look at each other and run out of there as if their lives depended on it, and it probably did. Sam relaxed and her stiff shoulders fell. Carly sighed in relief that the drama was over. Sam looked at the sticky red smoothie dripping off her fingers, broken Styrofoam cup still in hand.

"Sorry about your smoothie," She quietly says to Carly, who dips her head in understanding. "Its okay, he lived a short but happy life. What flavor was it anyways? Why was it red?"

"Dracula's Blood Pomegranate Blast, T-Bo said it was a Halloween special, but it was selling well so they just continued it." Answered Sam. Her eyes suddenly fire with hunger. "It's bloody red color is just so beautiful, like a horror films special blood effects," Carly takes a step back.

"Sam, I thought you were still seeing that psychologist!" Says Carly, not looking too happy with her best friend's lust for blood. Sam snaps out of it and looks at Carly.

"I am," She says.

"Right," Says Carly, knowing that there still were no results from those therapy sessions. "Shall we order curly fries?" Asks Carly.

"We shall," replies Sam, and they head back to the counter.


	6. celebrities underwater

**Umm, I know I haven't written in… some time, but stay with me here, alright? But the story will end in a few more… I think. I can't really put a timer on these. Bot I've got another Seddie story churning like butter in my mind, so it can.t sit there too long or it will grow old. Hey, I want to see how many people actually read these little intros 'cause I know I read them, but others don't. So if you read this little intro and decide to comment, It would be awesome if you included the words 'Glaux's Hagsfiend' somewhere in there. If you don't know what that means, don't waste your time on it. Anyways, I do own iCarly. I also own 300 iguanas, The Nile river and the color Blue. ;) (Psht, ya right!)**

** Chapter 6: celebrities underwater**

Spencer was just where we left him, in the fish tank. Carly and Sam had just entered the room.

"We got you a take home smoothie!" Sing songs Carly as she skipped into the room, Sam on her heels.

"Blueberry Blitz?" He questions, perking up immediately, reaching over the edge for it.

"Which other?" Says Carly as she jumped to reach him. She finally got the smoothie into his eager hands, but then looked upon him disdainfully. "Spencer, really, you ought to get out of there before you get as wrinkly as a prune!" Said Carly.

"My aunt Lori looks like a prune, and she ain't pretty," grimaces Sam. She loudly slurps her drink.

Spencer sighs in frustration. "I know, and I want to get out but-"

_Ring ring ring, ring a ding ding, ringringringringringring, ring a ling, ring ring RING!_ Spencer was rudely interrupted by a buzzing and very annoying cell phone on the counter.

"Could you pass that to me?" Asked Spencer, and Carly went and grabbed it and used a stool and her tippy toes to pass the phone to Spencer, who quickly flicked it open and held it to his ear.

"Yelloo?" He spoke obnoxiously through the phone like an annoying teenage girl. Carly rolled her eyes. "Oh hey Socko! What? No way really? Tonight? What time? Zokay thanks dude! Yeah see ya bye! GUESS WHAT?" He shouted at the girls as he hung up.

"Did Socko finally get that pink and green polka dotted kangaroo who prefers grapes over oranges and dances the Macarena?" Asks Sam. Spencer purses his lips in thought before replying,

"Not that I know of, yet. But Celebrities Underwater has a new show on at eight tonight, and Ginger Fox is starring!" He gasps in joy like a child on Christmas morning. Carly rolled her eyes again.

"Spencer, don't you have better things to do than watch demented singers do funky stuff at the bottom of a chlorine filtered pool on TV?" she said.

"Nope!" Chirps Spencer cheerfully. "Now I need you guys to get the smallish tv from my room on to the counter right there so I'll be able to view."

"Why can't you just go to your room to watch it instead?" Sam asks.

Spencer began to speak. "Because that ladder-"

_Ring ring ring, ring a ding ding, ringringringringringring, ring a ling, ring ring RING! _"Excuse me ladies," said Spencer as he flipped open his cell. Carly rolled her eyes. For the umpteenth time. Yeesh.

"Yelloo? Oh, hey again Socko! NO WAY! Really! I know, I'll watch it, thanks dude! Yeah bye!" He shut his cell. "OH MY PANDA BEAR!" He shrieked at the girls. They stared at him.

"Umm, yea, what is it?" Asked Sam.

"Well you know how I'm trying to get Cuddlefish concert tickets?" Said Spencer.

"Oh yeah, Michelle's favorite band!" Cried Carly.

"That lady loves her fish, somethin's funny 'bout that, " muttered Sam. Then she snickered at her own joke. "Smells fishy to me," She said smiling, continuing her joke. She takes another deep slurp from the smoothie.

"Yeah," continued Spencer, "And Socko says there's going to be a contest on channel 45, the channel Celebrities Underwater airs on. Well, whoever's the first caller wins two Cuddlefish concert tickets! So all I need to do is be the first to call on this cellphone and… oh!" He had held the cell up to emphasize his point, but he had forgotten to maintain a grip on the sides. The water went up his nose, and, not expecting that, he quickly grabbed the side and snorted and coughed.

"Spencer!" Shrieked Carly. The girls gazed as the phone Spencer had accidentally let go of plunged into the water and sank to the rainbow pebbled bottom. But instead it landed on the couch. Still underwater, of course.

"OH MY CHIHUAHUA!" Yelled Spencer. He quickly fastened his mask and re adjusted the air canister on his back before diving in, flippers flailing.

"I thought it was panda bear?" Carly asked, turning to Sam, who had just finished her smoothie and had taken off the cap, looking for any last drops. She faced Carly and shrugged before getting back to sniffing and inspecting the spotless cup. Spencer emerged, holding his silver cell. He removed the mask and held the edge with one hand.

"Does it still work?" Questioned Carly. Sam wasn't paying attention, having turned the cup over and was shaking it over her head, eying it carefully. Spencer flipped open the phone.

"I don't know. Lets see…" He said, and he fiddled with the phone for a minute. He made sure to lean onto the rim this time. Carly wasted her minutes watching Sam sniffing the edges and licking the sides of the Styrofoam cup. Turning back to his younger sister, he said, quite frustrated, "No, it doesn't. It won't turn on! Now I can't do the contest on TV! If only I had another cell…" Spencer looked mournfully at his dead one, but his eyes suddenly brightened, and he turned to face the brunette. "Carly?" he asked cautiously, and a wide toothy grin slowly spread it's self across his eager face.

"What?" She said slowly, uncertain at what he was getting at. Sam had given up on the smoothie and was watching them. Their gaze fell onto the eager waterlogged puppy that was Spencer.

He finally burst. "Can I use your cell phone?"

"W- wait, what? N-no!" Sputtered Carly. She protectively grabbed her purse, which was on the kitchen counter, and hugged it to her chest tightly.

"C'mon, please Carls?"

"No way!"

"Why not?"

"You'll drop it too!"

"I promise I'll be more-"

"-Careful?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"What?"

"NO!"

"Why?"

"Because I said-"

"-so?"

"Yeah!"

"That doesn't count!"

"Yes it does!"

"It's unfair!"

"No it's not!"

"I need concert tickets!"

"I need my cell phone!"

"I paid for it!"

"I use it!"

"If-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"NO!"

"But-"

"GUYS!" This time Sam yelled, cutting the bickering siblings off. They stared at her. "How about this," She said, "Carly, you keep your cell, but bring the TV down for him and give him my cell, okay? My mom said I could only get a new one if this piece of chiz broke, so here's my chance," She fumbled for her pocket, but then took out a chipped old flip phone. "Catch," She said, and chucked it heartlessly at his face.

"Raah!" He cried as he flung his hands in front of his face. The phone hit them and he tried to catch it. Splashing and scaring the fish, he finally caught it after it had performed a daring flip above his head. Sam laughed.

"Momma's gonna get her a new phone by tonight!" She smiled happily. Spencer eyed Sam's phone cautiously, decided it wouldn't explode and thanked the girls. Carly ran upstairs, and, a few minutes later, she came back down with Spencer's small bedroom TV. The friends set it up on the counter together.

"There you go, Spence!" Quipped Carly cheerfully.

"Thanks guys! I really hope I get those Cuddlefish tickets…" Said Spencer.

"Well, good luck!" said Carly. "But, hey, how are you going to change channels and stuff? I mean, I'm sure you'll drop one thing…"

"GIBBY!" Yelled Spencer. "Quick, call him and tell him I've got a job for him. Say I'll pay him." Carly took out her cell and dialed, then handed her phone to Sam.

"Wait, I don't want to talk to- oh hi Gibby." Said Sam, first talking to Carly and then to the pudgy boy at the other end of the phone. "Yeah, well Spence has got a job for you and he says he'll pay up to a hundred dollars…"

"NO I DIDN'T!" Shouted Spencer, but Sam continued anyways.

"Yeah, a hundred dollars. I know, he's almost as nubby as you! Offence intended," Added Sam. Spencer face palmed.

"No, all you have to do is run errands and stuff, spending Spencer's money. Then you gotta change channels on the tv for him. He can't do it himself because he's playing in a giant pool full of dead fish."

"They're not dea- " Began Spencer, but he looked at the water below him. "Not all of them, at least," he said quietly.

"Kay nub bye." Sam shut the phone and handed it back to Carly. "He'll be here in a min. Oh, and he's expecting payment." Spencer sighed. "So where's your wallet?" Asked Sam.

Oh, in that coat's pocket," He said. Sam went to the kitchen and rummaged through the pockets of the teal winter coat. She pulled out a black leather wallet and searched it, walking back to the siblings.

"And you've got about a hundred dollars in here?" She questioned.

"Yeah, a hundred dollar bill, actually, so I can-"

"Well you need a hundred more!" Shouted Sam, cutting him off. As Spencer yelled, she quickly tore into his wallet, pulled out the hundred dollar bill and made a mad dash to the stairs.

"Sam!" Screeched Carly, running after the blonde demon, who was laughing her head off. Sam disappeared up the stairs. Carly sighed.

"Can you get my money back?" Asked Spencer. Carly began walking up the stairs.

"Looks like you need a hundred more dollars, Spence," muttered Carls, storming off after her maniac friend.

"Aww!" Whined Spencer. Then he looked around him and randomly shouted, "I want a prune pop!"

**You like? Will be back with more soon! Love reviews! Bye!**


	7. Many stories

**PLEASE READ! I am so, so sorry. I'm apologizing again for leaving you guys. I wish I could say that I had too much schoolwork or something, but it would be a lie. But I always come back. Always. By the way, everyone's seen iOMG, right? It. Was. AWESOME. That's right, it was so important, I used CAPITOL LETTERS. That's right. So who's awesome? ;)**

**Disclaimer: Why am I even bothering? I don't own it. Yeesh.**

**Read On! **

Carly walked into her awesome room. Sam was sitting on Carly's hot pink bed, smoothing out the wrinkles in a valuable looking green slip of paper. As soon as she noticed her friend, Sam silently slipped the money in to her pocket and tried her best to appear innocent, smiling like a four year old who just was told that the world was made of candy.

"Give it," Carly said, holding out her hand expectantly. Sam smiled.

"Give what?" She acted entirely clueless. Carly had a slight smile tugging at her mouth.

"Don't play dumb, miss Puckett. You might be able to fool the cops, but not me," Sam smiled playfully, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Okay, okay, here," Sam sighed, still cheerful. She deposited a hundred dollar bill into Carly's outstretched hand. Carly raises her eyebrow.

"Just a hundred?"

Sam sighs. "Why are you so attentive," she grumbled, pulling a twenty out of her sleeve and slapping it into Carly's hand. Carly's grin widens with satisfaction.

"Good girl," She says to Sam, plopping down on the bed next to her. "Now we need to talk."

Sam looks up and sighs. "Fine, fine, I'll tell you everything." Carly pumps her fists in the air.

"Okay, all the truth, right?" Sam nods for her. "Okay, now tell me. When did you realize you liked Freddie?"

Back downstairs…

A knock sounds at the door. Spencer, holding Sam's battered cell phone, whirls around in the water and calls, "its open!"

In walks Gibby, wearing a blinding neon orange zip up sweater, and little Guppy is on his tail, wearing just the same thing in green.

"Sorry Spence, Guppy needs babysitting, so he'll be with us now," Says Gibby apologetically.

"Oh that's okay," says Spencer, "just as long as he doesn't get in the way of anything. Now you know what to do?"

"Umm, I buy stuff for you and hold the tv remote?" He asked.

"Correct!" Roared Spencer. "Now take my wallet, it's in that jacket, and go to the pet store, Petropolis, and buy the things on that list on the counter." Gibby grabs everything and heads to the door.

Spencer calls after him, " Some of the stuff is at the Target across the street!"

"Got it!" Calls Gibby, jogging out the door. Spencer turns and looks at Guppy.

"Guppy, will you hold this cell phone and the tv remote?" he asks the pudgy little boy. Guppy crosses his arms.

"What in it for me?" He asks in his tiny cute voice. Spencer thinks for a second.

"Um, a lollipop after?"

"Okay!" Guppy brightens and extends his short arms to grab the cell phone given to him. He waddles over to the kitchen counter, takes the remote and turns the tv on.

"Channel 23, okay Guppy?" Says Spencer. Guppy clicks his remote, and suddenly stops clicking to watch something that appealed to him very much.

"Guppy, channel 23. Guppy, are you listening? Guppy?" Spencer looks at the tv. It recites, …_y despues ponemos la crema asi, sobre las pasteles…_

"Guppy, that's the Mexican Dessert Channel." Guppy just watches with fascination. The tv says, _…y ningun pastel esta completa sin las velas, para el cumpleanos de mi esposo…_

Guppy points. "Bir day cake!" He cries.

"Yes, Guppy, but we can watch that later, can't we? Now lets get to channel-" Spencer says, but is cut off by Guppy.

"Happy Bir Day!" the boy shrieks loudly. "Happy Bir Day!"

Upstairs…

"It's a weird story, Carls." Carly just smiles.

Sam sighs. "Okay, fine. So, after that one kiss we had, you know, I just sort of forgot about it. So one day, I came home from school, and Frothy, you know Frothy, right?"

"The rabid cat?"

"Uh huh, so Frothy had come to me with this rat in his mouth."

Carly cringed. "Eww, gross!"

Sam shrugged. "Well, at first I'm like that, and then I'm like, but wait, I want to catch a rat. That'd be cool. I went to Home Depot and got this squirrel trap, and I set it up in my moms room, most likely place they'd be, right? So, The next morning I hear Frothy screeching and mom is screaming, and it turns out the only thing I caught was Frothy's paw."

"Ouch!" carly cringes.

"So I took Frothy to the vet, so they fixed him up, and they even de-wormed him and gave him medicine for mange too. You know that bald spot on his head? Anyways, so I also had to give him these eyedrops for this pinkish eye I hadn't noticed, and I forgot where I put them, so the next day I was going to get some more, and there was this Pear shop nearby and the new Pear Pad was out, so I stopped to check it out-"

"When are you going to get to the good part?" Sighed Carly.

Sam crosses her arms and makes a pouty face. "I was just getting there! Anyways, so Frednub was there. He was looking at one of their computers, and he didn't see me, but I saw him. And it sort of, just… happened."

"And… that's it? You told that long boring story about your severely malnourished cat to say it just happened?"

"Well, Yeesh! I didn't know there was a rule against it!"

" I guess you must have been crushing on him for a long time and didn't realize it, so it just popped up with some unexpected timing." Said Carly.

"Well, yeah," Replies Sam, "I gue- hey wait, since when are you my therapist?"

Carly laughs. "Well. Now you've got to tell him! How are you going to do it? Will you need my help? Is it going to be casual or romantic? Will you get him a gift? Are you-"

"O-kay!" Interrupts Sam, "Stop your yappin' and let me think for a sec!"

Carly smirks. "MeThinks you need MeHelp."

Sam growled, "MeThinks MeNeeds to smack you."

Carly stood up. Her feet inched to the door. "MeThinks Me should leave…"

Sam smirked evilly as Carly scampered out the door and down the stairs. She jumped up and peered out the door to see if the brunette was still there, and when she wasn't, Sam reached down and yanked off her left shoe.

"Kid's still got so much to learn.." Sam chuckled as she reached into her shoe and pulled out a twenty dollar bill, admiring it.

At the Groovy Smoothies…

Freddie was at the Groovy Smoothies with his girlfriend, Tracy. They had returned, because they still wanted smoothie time. Tracy and Freddie were sipping their smoothies at a table, talking and laughing.

"I'm glad you're friend left, actually. The blonde one. Was she actually going to kill us? 'Cause it sure looked like it!" Tracy told Freddie.

"Well she might have. Don't underestimate her. Did you know she beat up a bully twice her size wearing a dress and high heels?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, but we knew she could, Carly and I. Though we hate each other, somehow we're also great friends. At first we only got along because Carly wanted us to, but after we-" Freddie paused in shock, realizing he had almost given away an important secret.

"After you what?" Tracy asked curiously, sipping her smoothie.

"Uh- umm, we- we- we had our favorite pasta!" He stammered. Tracy's forehead creased.

"Freddie, are you lying?"

"Uh, umm…"

"Freddie."

"Hey look it's Gibby!" Freddie shouted, a little louder than necessary. Tracy turned where Freddie was facing, and, sure enough, a potato was standing in front of them. Freddie sighed in relief.

"Hey Freddo!" Gibby cried, leaning in to hug him. Freddie recoiled immediately.

"No, that's okay, big buddy," said Freddie, aware that Gibby was sweating like a pig. "Um, why are you all wet?"

"Did some exercise. Got to impress this lovely lady the Gibster knows. Also running some errands for Spencer and wanted a smoothie." He smiled, proud of himself.

"That's great, Gibby!" Said Tracy, who had already met him at school. "How far did you run?"

"Actually, I walked. And it was all the way from your building, Freddie!"

"Uh, Gibby?" he said, "It's three blocks away."

"I know, right!" He beamed at them. Not wanting to upset him, they said nothing.

"Okay then," said Tracy, breaking an awkward silence. "who's the lucky lady you're aiming for?"

Gibby suddenly appeared very uncomfortable. "Umm, it's, someone you know." He didn't meet their eyes, very interested in his shoes for some reason.

"You don't want to tell us yet?" asks Freddie, knowing.

"Nope."

"Okay, well, good luck wooing that woman!"

"Thanks, Freddie-o!"

"See ya, Gibster!"

Gibby went to the men's room. A few seconds after Gibby went in, a short balding asian man ran out as quickly as he could, having learned the hard way just how toxic this boy could be. And anyone who rented a toilet plunger from T-Bo never meant anything good. Tracy and Freddie returned to their date.

Tracy began to talk to Freddie about one of her cousins, but noticed he wasn't paying attention. His eyes had a glassy look, and he was staring off into space.

"Freddie, what are you thinking about?" She asked. He quickly snapped out of it and turned to her.

"What? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

She rolled her eyes. "And I was just saying that. Don't zone out, okay? So my cousin says, 'where'd you get a Zamboni?' and Paquito… Freddie, are you listening or what?" Tracy snapped.

He jolted out of a dreamy expression that was directed at the ceiling. "Wha?"

Freddie noticed her annoyed expression and crossed arms and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry Tracy. Just zoning out a bit."

Tracy sipped her smoothie. "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, you know," Said Freddie, "just- stuff."

"Well, what kind of stuff?" Tracy asked. She leaned in, waiting for his answer.

"Uh, um-" stuttered Freddie, "my, um, friends. Carly. Gibby. And-"

"Sam?" Asked Tracy. Freddie gulped. Tracy cocked her head. "She's more than a friend, isn't she? I know something when I see it. And you definitely like her."

"Well, of course I like her!" Cried Freddie. "She's my friend, isn't she?"

Tracy sighed. "Freddie, I don't really want to date you."

Freddie was sipping his smoothie when she said this. His eyes widened in shock, and he choked on his fruity drink. "Should- Shouldn't girls break up a little more, nicely?" He sputtered.

"I know you like Sam!" She cried. Freddie seemed like he was going to say something, but she beat him to the punch. "Not like, I mean, like like, like, more than friends like like, like, crushing."

Freddie tilted his head. "I don't think I caught that all," he said. Tracy sighed again.

"I know you love Sam!" She said.

Freddie seemed a bit taken aback. He tried to act casual, leaning back in his chair.

"Love is a strong word, Tracy. Maybe you meant to say liking, or crushing, but not-"

"Loving!" Cried Tracy, finishing another sentence. "You really love her, don't you? The rumor at school is that you broke up with your infatuation subject Carly, on Sam's word! Is that true or not?"

"Well," Freddie said carefully, "I guess you could say that, but-"

"So it's true!" Said Tracy. "You love Sam!"

"Look, if I loved Sam, why would I be dating you?"

"You aren't! I'm breaking up with you! Now go after your sweetheart! The school's paying me good money to set you guys up!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Cried Freddie, waving his arms, "Slow down, kay? What do you mean, the school's paying you to set Sam and I up?"

Tracy looked down at her lap guiltily. "I sort of just spit that out, didn't I? Sorry." She took a deep breath and looked up at Freddie seriously. "Okay, here's the situation…

Back at the Shay residence…

"Guppy!" Shrieked Spencer. "Guppy! Put that down! Stop it!"

Guppy was screaming like a little monster, running circles around the giant fish tank. The sweater was in the corner of the room, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. While he yelled, he carried a large glass vase over his head. Spencer was shouting, flailing his arms frantically and splashing water everywhere. The fish, frightened were hiding in the corners of the tank. Spencer was doing a bit better. His feet rested on the top point of the couch.

"Well, this isn't awful," said Spencer, trying to cheer himself up. Guppy continued to scream, shaking the vase.

"Not all of the fish are dead," Spencer confirmed, "and Gibby's getting the stuff. There are just a few-" Suddenly Spencer yelped, and he ducked underwater just as the glass vase went flying through the space where his head was only moments ago. It shattered as it hit the wall behind him. Spencer gasped as his head popped above the surface. " -Complications," finished Spencer sourly.

"Avocad-!" Shrieked Guppy manically, running circles around Spencer's fish tank.

**He-ey! Am I leaving you guys at a cliffie? Good! 'till next time! Hopefully, by then, I will have tried spaghetti tacos and whipped cream carrots. I want to. Badly. So, wishing you a seddie week! Bye! :)**


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